It's my 16th birthday today. It was awful at first, but it got better at the end.

I woke up this morning with this sinking feeling of not wanting to go to rev class. It's my birthday, for Pete Wentz's sake! But I had to go, so I did. We paid for it, anyway.

And when I got to class, my seatmate was absent. Now lookathat. I should've been the one in her position. I'm the birthday girl! I'm not supposed to spend the whole morning stuck inside the ugly four walls of the boring classroom! Anyway, I got over it pretty fast.

I got home, opened the door, and -surprise!- there was my mom holding our infamous videocamera. I knew it. I knew this would happen. I know all about my mom's tackyness. I just knew it. Sigh. Anyway, I got over it pretty fast.

So the picture-taking session didn't take long. Actually, it was more like 3 minutes. Seriously. All I had to do was: Sit. Smile. Blow (the candles, that is). Repeat. Anyway, I got over it pretty fast.

My cake was, dare I say it, pink. The actual butter cake was covered with white icing but the decorations, flower frosting, etc. were PINK. It wasn't exactly what I wanted (I wanted it to be rectangular, with BIG flowers and GREEN ICING!!! I love green icing. It always tastes different). Anyway, I got over it pretty fast.

Then, my mom told me that when she was at the mall, she saw my two closest friends with another not-so-close friend shopping there! They probably enrolled in school before they went there, but the hardest part was, they didn't even invite me or greet me "Happy Birthday!" even as a text message! I mean, some of the people I'm annoyed with greeted me first. It was a nightmare! I've always had problems with those two specific friends, but this time, I HAVE HAD IT!

I was hurt. I was really hurt. And add it to the fact that they even went with said not-so-close friend. What was that?! Were they replacing me with someone they can automatically relate to?! They know I'm not the most patriotic Filipino around. They know I hate watching local shows, movies, etc. They cannot relate to my hobbies. But they just threw out our many years of friendship! It was a horrible, horrible feeling. I was speechless. I just cannot believe it. They didn't even invite me!!!

I was fine with the other things I told you about. The cake, rev class, videocam, etc. I got over them pretty fast as I already told you hundreds of times, but the one concerning my so-called "best friends" (more like bitch friends, I think!), hah, I'm SOOO NOT OVER IT!

Gawdjeez, I even cried! I mean, yeah, I always cry during my birthday (Still don't know the hell why), but this time, I really felt the pain. I felt the pain of betrayal. Of disloyalty. Of unfaithfulness. Of backstabbing. Of..of...attack. I know they didn't mean for me to know. But I had to know from SOMEBODY ELSE (my mom, for Pete Wentz's sake!) about what they did. It was an excruciating stab of pain. Really.

I told some of my friends about through text, and some of them sympathized with me. (Thanks to Josie and Janno!) I went online and played GoPets, and even strangers (the GoPets players) greeted me, gave me gifts (in form of GoPets items and gold shells). It felt great. I felt special. And then I thought, "Screw the people who aren't grateful for all the things I did for them. Screw those whom I thought had my trust. Screw those pathetic people whom I stupidly made friends with. SCREW THEM!" I would've replaced "screw" with the F-word, but I'm not really an evil person.

All in all, my birthday was bittersweet. I learned a lesson that I would never ever forget, and plus, we're gonna watch DVDs tonight! Yep, that's just the icing on the cake. =D

Life is so...unsettling...boring...right now. And by life, I mean "rev class life". Everyday, I feel anxious. Like something wrong is gonna come up. I hate feeling like that. It makes me cringe. And I don't like cringeing, either.

I feel like I'm wasting my time. I know about all the things these classes will do to me. Yes, they can help me. They will help me. It's just that I hate the fact that I'm spending whole mornings sitting there, listening to stuff I've already heard.

*Now that was the "anxious me" talking. Let's now hear it for the "not-fully-optimistic-but-still-kinda-optimistic-me".

It is sort of okay to me, actually. I mean, all I do there is sit, listen and answer some questions. I learn more, in fact. There are tests everyday and to my shock, I got low grades at some of them. I really can't believe that I still need to catch up on a lot of things. A lot. Especially my vocabulary. I mean, I thought my vocab was good. I get really high scores in English in my school, but this was the first time I failed an English exam. The first I tell you. It was a little disheartening, but I had to get through it. I really had to.

*Mixed feelings. Ugh, it's annoying. I don't know what to feel. Should I be happy, anxious or both? I really don't know. It's all static to me. T_T

I don't like what I'm feeling at all. The thing about starting school is dreadful in its plain essence, whatever that means, but starting "school" one month early is just one big "ARGH!!!". The first day of review classes started early this morning. It's an 8am-12pm session, so from now on, I always have to get up at 7. WHICH IS NAUSEATING. At first I wasn't so sure about this whole thing, but my mom worked her way in and convinced me to just do it. So I did. I mean, what if I end up failing UP and UST, right? I wouldn't want that. Oh, I really wouldn't want that.

Anyway, we only had diagnostic tests today which always isn't that much fun. There were only 14 of us, I think. And the worst thing that can happen happened. Ugh, I don't even wanna say it. It's just that I thought all my classmates were gonna be strangers ... but all hell broke loose... and there they were. I just really don't like these people. They're part of my list of "People I Least Want to Be Friends With". So, my experience this morning wasn't all satisfying. It was, again, NAUSEATING. And I hope to get this thing over with so I could move on with my normal life and enjoy the rest of the vacation.

Godjeez, help me go through this phase!!! I hate it!!!