OK. I know many people are wondering why I'm like this. A cutthroat, whiny bitch. Here are the reasons:

Well, actually it all started last year, I think. I mean, I've always been whiny ever since I was born, but I became BITCHY whiny when I was in 3rd year high school. In school, I've been known as the "quiet" and "shy" girl who doesn't speak. That's because I don't wanna talk to people who are users, feelers, backstabbers, teacher's pets, posers, etc. etc. But most of them are the jologs type, so...I don't wanna go near them, for I'll get "hawa" of their jologs-ness.

Another reason is the internet/media. The wonderful, powerful and influential world of the web. I met so many people who are kinda like me. Sarcastic, evil, etc. whatever you wanna describe me. Because of the Net, these underlying characteristics strengthened and combined, and voila! I became this.

Hmm. Third reason. My early childhood was UGLYYY. I got teased around a lot. Kids are awful. But of course we all know that. Anyway, maybe, just maybe, that was also one of the reasons why now that I'm older, I also became harsh and brutal to people. My comments often consist of bad words, obviously. Yeah yeah yeah. I became a bitter, heartless person. (FYI, I don't cry when I'm sad. I cry when I'm reallllyy angry. When I'm pissed off, I just make dabog dabog. Or yeah, I blog about it. =P)

I really don't know why I'm writing this. I guess it's to make people understand, but I know they won't. They're not me.

P.S.

SOMETIMES, only sometimes, when I speak badly of another person, it's all the result of "carried away-ness". My feelings take hold of me and suddenly, all negative stuff come out of mouth. I admit that I feel good when I do that. GAAAAAD. What is wrong with me?! But yeah, if I've ever truly, deeply hurt anyone, then I'm sorry.

ZOMG! Remember my promise that I would spill another manwhore (MW) moment? Well, it turns out to be more than that. I can't spill details because it would cause another bitchfight between *ahem* and *ahem*.

Anyway, MW found another helpless victim. He has already dumped or broken up with hmm... like, 10 - 12 girls, and now, he's caught another one. Who is she? Like I said, I can't say. If this were a private blog, however, I WOULD give complete, intact, no non-sense and accurate play-by-play details, but *sighs* that's not exactly the case with my blog right now.

So it just makes me sick that MW is still going around infecting little innocent ladies, leaving them, not caring about their feelings (even if the girl says that she doesn't care about her ex, she STILL cares!!!!! Learn that fucking lesson, gullible men!!!), having them watch him and his new leading lady grope around blah blah blah, and rebounding with another girl in... a millisecond!!! Yes yes, that's how insulting it is. >:-(

I feel so bad for the new victim, though. I really like her. She's nice and smart. A good friend, I guess. But now that MW is slowly dragging her down to infinite victim hell, I am so FUCKING MADDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >>>>>>>>:-((((((((( Count how many wrinkles I have between my eyebrows! That's how mad I am.

AAaaaaRRggGGGH!HhHHhhh!!! I REEEAAALLLY want him to STOP! He can't do this to women anymore! He's already a real fucking leech!! Just STOP, ok!? STOPPPP!!! HALT!!! TAMA NAAA!!!

If he ever dumps "latest victim", I'm gonna KILL him. I'm gonna sooo fucking KILL him! I'm gonna drag him all the way to Norway and cut off his testicles, so he wouldn't BREED little sluts and manwhores and spread them across the planet! Yes, I actually do think he will sleep with almost all the females in the world if he can help it. Well, of course he can. No question about it. That's how manwhore-y he is. >:-(((

OK. I gotta stop or I'll pretty soon get a heart attack.

FI.NAL.LY. I am now officially free, yes, FREE from Academic Doom. I capitalized them because this week has been oh-so-painful. What am I talking about? The Periodical Exams, dammit! I mean, ask yourself "What could've been the one reason that got in the way of Elooiiineey's mischief masterplan?" The answer: Blah blah blah school and anything related to the word.

Actuallyyy, the exams weren't really that difficult. Not bragging. It's just that they were pretty much like other tests we've taken before. Not much difference.

The one good thing about Exam Week is that I get to spend A LOT of bonding time with my brother and sister. We never get to do anything fun now because of computer games (*ahem* GoPets *ahem*), etc., etc., etc. So during exam week, my mom bans (*gasp*) us from anything media. The TV and PC, specifically. So you know naman what happens kung wala akong panglibangan (Eh? Tama ba yun?). Edi yun, nagsamang-pwersa kami ng mga bopols shobe at shoti ko para gumawa ng D-Day (Doomsday) ritual. The ritual mainly consists of:

*lame UNO playing
*super lame radio headbangin'
*super duper lame Aquadoodling (don't ask)
*mega lame insult brainstorming
*triple lame fake-reading schoolbooks while actually reading A Series of Unfortunate Events
*supercalifragilisticexpialidocious lame storytelling when we're not really telling stories

So that's basically it. I had fun, though. My siblings have opened up to me quite a bit, and when I say "quite a bit", I reaaaallly mean a bit. I did most of the opening up. LOL. If you have to ask, I just merely gushed about my ultimopseudocrushes, namely ____ and ____. Hah. You're not getting that far! That's just among me, my siblings and a certain someone. You know who you are. You read this blog, for pete's sake! ;-)

Ok. Yun lang muna ang update. 'La masyadong kwenta.... ZOMG! I just realized na may gusto pala akong siraan! LOLsss. I'll save it for later. Bye guys! =D

Josephine (or Josie; or Jos; or Monzon; or Egay ---> *evil grin* Just kidding) and I had one of our rare "daldalan sessions" this afternoon (Chinese class, to be exact; we had our "kou shi" test, so we didn't do much afterward).

We were discussing a lot of stuff. Boys, girlfights, backstabbers, school, scandalous blogs (*ahem ahem*), multiple personalities (*ahem ahem* part II), the distinction between real and fake friends, etc. etc. etc. Basically, we had a really long, deep, serious (with a good amount of laughs here and there) conversation.

First of all, lemme tell you something about our friendship. It's not typical. Sometimes we have "tampo" phases, and other times we get along reaaalllyy well, which happens most of the time. We mostly have the same views about people, especially our classmates, and that's one thing I don't have in common with most other people. I also unleash the psychologist in me whenever I talk to this girl. We like to analyze people and tear them down to bits and pieces (not in a bad way, of course). I mean, we like to figure out why this person did this and why this person did that. It's like making another one of our Character Sketches in English class last year. Also, meron akong karamay sa aking mga "issue". Pagdating sa mga crush, sa kanya lang talaga ako nag-co-confide and vice versa. She told me that hindi rin daw niya alam kung bakit niya nasasabi sakin yung kanyang mga "secret" kuno. LOL. Ako rin naman ganun. I feel like we have this bond of trust na sa kanya ko lang talaga nahanap. I can really be myself whenever I'm around her kasi kapag I feel so mayabang and ma-pride na at times, she knows how to insult (wrong word choice, but it works) me. Edi yun. I go back to normal ulit. Para bang she's one of the few people who makes me stay grounded all the time. ;-)

Oo nga pala. We started being close friends last year. Nung kaharap ko siya sa Chinese. We naturally became each other's confidantes. We told each other eveything! We still do. This year, though, medyo 'di na kami nagkakausap kasi nga super busy kaming dalawa tsaka malayo na yung seating arrangement namin. Kanina lang talaga kami nag-catch up sa mga happenings ng sucky lives namin. Hahahahaha. Jokejokejoke. It was very nice talking to her again. I felt like I found my real personality once more. Why? Because when I'm with my other "pwends", I feel left out sometimes. Like I'm invisible or something. Anywaaaaay, don't mind about that.

Nasanay na 'ko feeling that way.

6 years of elementary + 2 years of kindergarten + 1 year of nursery + a lot of days in between high school = a lifetime's worth of invisibility.

Don't feel sorry for me, though. I like my life. I'm not suicidal, that's for sure.

On my way to HERE, I've discovered a lot of things about people. I've realized how to accept them as they are (super cliche, 'no?). I'm not saying na mahal ko na silang lahat. No waaay. I don't like most people (yes, I'm picky) pero I don't make war naman. Bahala na lang sila. If they don't mess with me, then it's all good.

So anyway, I'm rambling na. Hanggang dito muna. Baka ma-bore na kayo sa kakabasa. LOLsss.

Whoa. I might have to be more careful about what I write from now on.

I was so overwhelmed with all the sudden attention people are giving to my Multiply blog. Yeah yeah yeah, it's all because of that "scandalous" (LOL) ILAW entry I posted a few days back. I was a bit embarrassed at first pero I thought, What the heck? E nasulat ko na eh. Bakit ko pa babaguhin? So yun nga. At least all the people who read it really supported my side. I'm like, Wow, I'm so glad people aren't making snarky comments about it, etc. etc. My mom really frightened me, though. She was saying some things like, "Hoy, lagot ka! Mamaya makalat 'yang mga reklamo mo sa school tapos mamaya ma-Disciplinarian ka pa! Kung anu-ano kasi yang mga pinagsusulat mo eh! 'Wag ka na nga mag-blog-blog. Mamaya tingin sayo ng tao masama ka! Tapos mamaya makita pa yan ni Mr. Gan! HALA KA!!!"

I am serious. She really did say those things. I'm not making them up.

After she finished her little speech, my face was like O.o I admit I was a bit scared at first, pero I brushed it off na lang kasi I have freedom of speech naman e. Yeah, that's what all journalists say, I suppose. >_<

Oh by the way, try to Google "Interscholastic Leaders' Awareness Workshop" and you'll find this blog (not my Multiply one, but this one: www.hearts-and-skulls.blogspot.com ---> the real one) at the very TOP of the list. Sabi nga ng isang ILAW participant dun daw niya nahanap yung (real) blog ko (a shoutout to Mike from Don Bosco!). I thought, Paano kaya kung yung mga organizers ang nakakita ng mga sinulat ko? Ewan. Bahala sila.

I have just realized that, yes, people who may or may not sometimes agree with the opinions I've expressed in my entries DO read my blog. It's not that I'm against it, I actually like it when people leave tags or comments. It's just that some people get offended with what some of the things I've been saying.

The post below this shows my utter irritation at the ILAW seminar. I'm not generalizing all the participants who attended the said event. You have to know this before anything else: I may get a little bit too dramatic sometimes. Plus, my style of writing is a bit, um, straightforward. I write whatever's on my mind. I don't tone things down. I don't cover up what's really the truth. Like one of my classmates once told me, "You're a very honest writer." Exactly.

If I've offended or hurt people by anything that I've posted here, then I just want to tell you that all the feelings expressed in this cyber outlet of mine are REAL. I wrote what I felt at the time. I may not feel the same way right now, but still, those ideas were formulated. I cannot do anything else about them because they already happened. I don't like to erase memories. Lalo na 'pag dramatic. Syempre ang sarap basahin yung mga kagaguhan na pinagsusulat ko dito when I become older. It's a nice way to reminisce, right?

So, anyway, I just wrote this stuff down to help make people understand. I'm kind of not apologizing because I know I haven't done anything wrong. You may get taken aback by a lot of cuss words ("F---" and "s---", especially), but don't stereotype me as a bad person. Yes, I DO have a heart.