Okaaay. Sa Advertising na lang ako. Ayoko na magbigay ng reason kasi nakakatamad na mag-explain. Basta sure na sure na talaga ako. I'll just brush up on my drawing skills this summer.

Onga pala. My family will stay in Xiamen, China this summer... for maybe a month ata? We'll stay with our relatives there tapos my mom said na dun na din daw ako mag- art lessons. OHWELL. OK lang siguro yun.

So.. yun lang. PROMISE last na talaga to. Di na ako magbabago ng desisyon. HAHA. =S

Haaay. After a lot of brainstorming, I have finally FINALLY decided to choose Communication Arts over Advertising.

As usual, I have my list of reasons.

1. First choice (course) ko naman talaga yung Comm. Arts.

2. Di ako magaling mag-drawing. Enough said.

3. Magastos daw sa CFAD ---> according to Eunice =D

4. Mas marami ang nagsasabi na mas bagay sakin ang Comm Arts.

5. I went to the UST website and found this list of career options sa Comm Arts:

Career Options:

* Advertising Practitioner
* Account Manager
* Creative Director
* Copywriter
* Media/Buyer Planner
* Public Relations Practitioner
* Corporate Communications Director
* Public Relations Manager/Consultant
* Publicist
* Event Planner
* Market Researcher
* T.V./Film Director
* T.V./Film Scriptwriter
* Radio/T.V. Field Reporter
* Radio/T.V. Newscaster
* Program Host

Kaso nga lang, waitlisted pa ako, so dapat daw mas maaga ako kasi first come - first serve ang treatment sa mga waitlisted. OHWELL.

I'm back after a period which I would like to call "depression". I don't know if that was really what happened to me these past few weeks, but I sure felt melancholic and sad.

This is a "maybe, sort of, kind of, perhaps" analysis of my "sad" phase.

- I found out that I failed UP. I was devastated for the first time.

- After that day, lots of projects hurtled at me all at the same time.

- I was confused, not sure of what to do first. I didn't have time to think about UP because I was too busy.

- Because of that, I always felt that I had to something with the UP thing, so I became even more burdened than ever.

- I didn't talk to some of my friends because... I don't know either. I just didn't want to, I guess. I mean, I was really quiet throughout this "phase".

- I just wanted to get away from school. Before, I was OK with going to school. But during that phase, I didn't get excited about waking up in the morning just to to go to school.

- Josie even said that "nagbago na ako". I do think so, too. I became even more reserved and quiet and not my usual self.

- I was scared. I really was. I didn't want this new personality. I wanted the old "me" back.

- At the moment, all the projects are almost done. I finally decided to accept the fact that I failed UP. It really cleared some things for me. I was relieved. I actually felt good about accepting this fact. It helped me to recover.

- The USTET results finally came out, and I discovered that I passed Advertising Arts and got waitlisted at Communication Arts. I was fine with that, actually. UST was my first love (during elementary), anyways. At first, I was having trouble deciding between DLSU and UST because I find DLSU better, but I don't like my course there (Psychology), so in the end, I chose UST.

So, yes, I am going to study at UST.

I am going to be an art student. *jumps for joy*

Heath Ledger is DEAD. Yes. He passed away. Kicked the bucket. Whatever you call it.

I still cannot believe it.

When I read the news, my jaw literally dropped for about 5 minutes. I am serious.

It's just so... sudden.

He's just 28 years old. Can you believe that?

I'm so distraught. So frustrated.

He's one of the best actors/artists of this generation.

His loss was such a huge huge huge blow.

It is so sad. So disheartening.

I didn't believe it was possible, but I just became more melancholic and depressed than ever before.

I'm gonna mourn for him. And his art.

Please do not comment on this post. Just. Please.

School started out boring today, but after a few hours, it seemed like time was going too fast for my own good. I am slowly dying with all these projects. Shall I enumerate them for you?

1. Computer = Music Video Project (shooting next week)

2. Math R= Research Blah Blah As Usual It's Boring Blah Blah (due on Jan. 31)

3. Science= Project (I still have no idea what my group's gonna come up with. Oh well. I'm no science geek so what do I know about it?)

4. English= The ever-horrifying Research Paper (due on Jan. 28 - a few days before the Math Project. >:-(

5. Yearbook= Still finishing up on the typing, etc.

6. Tanglaw= one of the most stressful things I've ever done. The deadline for the complete 3rd issue is on FEBRUARY FUCKING SIX!!!!!!!!!!! Help meeeeee.

7. H.M. = Why do we have to make music videos every single fucking year?! First of all, our topic was about "MUSIC", not music "VIDEOS". Music and videos are two very different things. Music is for hearing and videos are for watching. But why did our teacher force us to do it?!?! Our subject is MUSIIIIIC. Do I have to spell everything out for people?! Gaaaawd.

8. Reconsideration Blah Blah= I'll keep this a secret first. No details for now.

Cause of Death: Projects.

Nagsimula to kagabi lang. Nagba-browse lang naman ako sa website ng UP tapos bigla kong nakita na nandun na pala yung results ng UPCAT. I was soooo excited, shocked, whatever kasi 'di ko ineexpect na maaga pala ang labasan ng results. I clicked the link immediately tapos while the page was sloooooooooowly loading, I was screaming, jumping, etc. Excited na excited talaga ako. I mean, yun yung dream school ko so syempre diba? Tapos, the page finally loaded...

I didn't find my surname anywhere.

After a few seconds of shock...

I clicked the letter "Q" again, and again...

The same page was shown...with my name not on it...

I felt disappointed at first.. and then... shock...

Before I knew it, my eyes were swimming with tears...

I didn't believe it...

I still couldn't....

I cried all night.... until I finally went to sleep...

I thought my tears have dried, but no. I still had to go to school this morning and I cried there as well.

I do appreciate my classmates' support and understanding, but they couldn't help me anymore.

Some people found me OA or whatever, but what do they expect!?

I still need time to recover from this... this nightmare...

THIS is my dream school we're talking about, not just any other school, but MY dream school. You can't feel my pain 'til you've experienced this.

Imagine. A few of your classmates passed. But they still won't study there, anyway.

PERO AKO!??!?!?!!! PAG NAKAPASA AKO DUN, DUN NA TALAGA AKO EH!!!!!!!!!! YUN ANG MASAKIT!!!!!!!! BWISIT YANG MGA PESTENG HAMPAS LUPA NA YAN!!!!! BAKIT PA SILA KUMUHA NG TEST DUN KUNG ALAM NAMAN NILANG DI SILA PAPASOK DUN!??!?! MAS LILIIT ANG TSANSA NG MGA DIEHARD NA TULAD KO!!!!!!!! OO DIEHARD AKO. DESPERADA. BAHALA KA KUNG ANO ANG GUSTO MONG TAWAGIN SAKIN!!!!!! BASTA MAHAL NA MAHAL KO ANG UP KAHIT DI PA AKO ESTUDYANTE DON! I CRIED FOR TWO FUCKING DAYS!!!!!! GANOON KAHALAGA SAKIN YON! MAS MAHALAGA PA SA ISANG BILYONG DOLYAR!!!! THE LAST TIME I CRIED THIS MUCH WAS...WAIT, NEVER!!!!!! I HAVE NEVER EVER DONE THIS MUCH CRYING MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE!!!

Don't tell me to calm down!!!!!!! I'm emotionally distressed right now. I don't need your sympathy!!!! I just wrote this to let it all out!!!!!

Actually, I still have a bit of a chance.

Here goes.

First of all, common mistake yung spelling ng surname ko. Well malay natin kung 'di muna nila nilagay sa list (this is just a WIIIIILLLD guess, but who knows?)

2nd. I read at the end of the list that 'di pa raw 'official' yung list na nasa website. So baka nga may chance pa ako. (Another wild guess)

3rd. Pag di talaga ako makapasa at kung pwede magpa-reconsider, gagawin ko yun.

4th. Pag di pa rin pwede, mag-aapply ako sa ibang course na gusto ko rin.

I will never give up.

Kukulitin ko talaga ang UP Diliman hanggang sa mainis sila sakin at papasukin na talaga nila ako!!! Ganoon ako ka-determinado, di tulad ng ibang DYAN!!!!!!!!

I have to say, rejection has toughened me up a lot. As cheesy as it sounds, it really taught me how to become stronger.

Kaya UP, humanda ka.

Whoops. I must have forgotten to blog/rant about the holidays. Well, it went OK for me. "OK" is actually a pretty good compliment already (for me, at least). It was better than the previous years because we actually went out of the house. XD

So for the first day of the holiday vacation, we were breaking our backs in front of the computer for the whole day, until my dad suddenly suggested going out. I was like this O.O because my dad usually killjoys all of our shopping extravaganzas at the mall. So anyway, we went to Mall of Asia even though it was nearly their closing time. Then we went to Global Fun Carnival, and this is where the horror starts. My dad got the three of us kids ride-all-you-can tickets which cost around 300 pesos, I think. My parents only paid for the entrance fee. So we went inside and there were like soooooooooooooooooooooooooo many people. Can you feel the horror now? Not quite? Wait. Just wait. So there were like so many college kids, right? I think we only we saw about 2 actual little kids there. No kidding.

So my mom reserved us for the Flying Fiesta-like ride, and we got in line for the Flipper ride. It's like this circle with around 6 seat compartments which rotate randomly WHILE the circle thingy rotates, too. Ya, I don't get it either.

So we rode it. AND ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!!!!!! It was MORTIFYING, to say the least. I felt like my head was gonna come off! Seriously! I don't joke about this, OK!?

So after that terrifying ride, we quickly went to the Flying Fiesta because the spot my mom reserved for us was already nearing the ride entrance (is there such a thing?). At the time, I was already feeling dizzzzzzzy. But I thought that this Flying Fiesta was the same as the one in Enchanted Kingdom which was a total breeze because it felt like nothing.

So for the first few minutes we were up there in midair rotating about, then SUDDENLY (@#&(*$^#&*$^*#&YIUHDhfdighfsh&@^*&$%#&@!^#$#*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMFG!!! it was rotating like... OMG. I closed my eyes the entire time. It was horror. Plain and simple.

After riding those two hellrides, I just felt so sick. I was having a nervous breakdown. I was shivering and sweating and staring at random stuff for no reason. I just felt sick. So my parents decided to go home. The 900 pesos + 2 entrance fees that we paid was sayang, but all I wanted to do at that point was to go home and sleep.

For all you readers out there, please do NOT go to Global Fun Carnival. It's a sick sick terrifyingly sick place. I NEVER EVER EVER wanna go near that place again.

P.S.

Count how many times I typed "So" >.<

Er... Right now, I'm not even thinking of high school anymore. It's all about college, college, college nowadays. I mean, I don't wanna finish high school anymore! I wanna go to college RIGHT NOW! I am so excited I can hardly wait!

Ok, first thing's first. I wanna go to UP and study Film. End of discussion. Here are my reasons for wanting to go to UP:

1. It's the NUMBER ONE university in the Philippines. DUH.

2. I am liberal (a little bit conservative, though). UP is the most liberal school out there. I've thought about it. I know all about the outrageous/scandalous stuff there, but I dun care.

3. UP Film Institute. The name speaks for itself.

4. I dun wanna see my classmates, especially my batchmates from the other sections, in my chosen school. I wanna start fresh, and seeing their faces won't do me any good. Seriously. I dun wanna remind myself of high school. It's just too much. I might suffocate because of them. I chose UP because I think almost all my classmates won't be accepted there (because most of their courses are common), or if they will, then they prolly won't choose to be there, anyway. Hey, I'm telling the truth here. No offense.

5. I'll pass the exam. I know I will. Film isn't really a popular or in-demand course so I'm prolly one of the few people who's interested in it and I'll most prolly pass it. I'm just analyzing here. Don't get too taken aback by my so-called "ego". I know I have it.

6. You could tell me a million reasons why I shouldn't study there, but my heart (and mind) will always be at UP. It sounds kinda dorky, but it's true.