Nagsimula to kagabi lang. Nagba-browse lang naman ako sa website ng UP tapos bigla kong nakita na nandun na pala yung results ng UPCAT. I was soooo excited, shocked, whatever kasi 'di ko ineexpect na maaga pala ang labasan ng results. I clicked the link immediately tapos while the page was sloooooooooowly loading, I was screaming, jumping, etc. Excited na excited talaga ako. I mean, yun yung dream school ko so syempre diba? Tapos, the page finally loaded...

I didn't find my surname anywhere.

After a few seconds of shock...

I clicked the letter "Q" again, and again...

The same page was shown...with my name not on it...

I felt disappointed at first.. and then... shock...

Before I knew it, my eyes were swimming with tears...

I didn't believe it...

I still couldn't....

I cried all night.... until I finally went to sleep...

I thought my tears have dried, but no. I still had to go to school this morning and I cried there as well.

I do appreciate my classmates' support and understanding, but they couldn't help me anymore.

Some people found me OA or whatever, but what do they expect!?

I still need time to recover from this... this nightmare...

THIS is my dream school we're talking about, not just any other school, but MY dream school. You can't feel my pain 'til you've experienced this.

Imagine. A few of your classmates passed. But they still won't study there, anyway.

PERO AKO!??!?!?!!! PAG NAKAPASA AKO DUN, DUN NA TALAGA AKO EH!!!!!!!!!! YUN ANG MASAKIT!!!!!!!! BWISIT YANG MGA PESTENG HAMPAS LUPA NA YAN!!!!! BAKIT PA SILA KUMUHA NG TEST DUN KUNG ALAM NAMAN NILANG DI SILA PAPASOK DUN!??!?! MAS LILIIT ANG TSANSA NG MGA DIEHARD NA TULAD KO!!!!!!!! OO DIEHARD AKO. DESPERADA. BAHALA KA KUNG ANO ANG GUSTO MONG TAWAGIN SAKIN!!!!!! BASTA MAHAL NA MAHAL KO ANG UP KAHIT DI PA AKO ESTUDYANTE DON! I CRIED FOR TWO FUCKING DAYS!!!!!! GANOON KAHALAGA SAKIN YON! MAS MAHALAGA PA SA ISANG BILYONG DOLYAR!!!! THE LAST TIME I CRIED THIS MUCH WAS...WAIT, NEVER!!!!!! I HAVE NEVER EVER DONE THIS MUCH CRYING MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE!!!

Don't tell me to calm down!!!!!!! I'm emotionally distressed right now. I don't need your sympathy!!!! I just wrote this to let it all out!!!!!

Actually, I still have a bit of a chance.

Here goes.

First of all, common mistake yung spelling ng surname ko. Well malay natin kung 'di muna nila nilagay sa list (this is just a WIIIIILLLD guess, but who knows?)

2nd. I read at the end of the list that 'di pa raw 'official' yung list na nasa website. So baka nga may chance pa ako. (Another wild guess)

3rd. Pag di talaga ako makapasa at kung pwede magpa-reconsider, gagawin ko yun.

4th. Pag di pa rin pwede, mag-aapply ako sa ibang course na gusto ko rin.

I will never give up.

Kukulitin ko talaga ang UP Diliman hanggang sa mainis sila sakin at papasukin na talaga nila ako!!! Ganoon ako ka-determinado, di tulad ng ibang DYAN!!!!!!!!

I have to say, rejection has toughened me up a lot. As cheesy as it sounds, it really taught me how to become stronger.

Kaya UP, humanda ka.